#thoughtfulthursday 12: Apologise!

It is never easy to admit to being wrong or having made a mistake but as Jaime Thurston says, “Saying sorry does more than simply remedy a past mistake – it builds a connection by showing vulnerability and honesty.”Kindness the little thing that matters most

There are always going to be times when we need to apologise – we are all human and make mistakes, hurting others. In order to maintain our relationships with those around us, we need to have the courage to apologise. An apology must be genuine to ring true, just saying “sorry” is not enough!

“A sincere apology has three parts: I am sorry, it is my fault, what can I do to make it right?” Jaime Thurston quotes from research by Ohio University, “The best apologies include accepting responsibility for what you did and offering to make amends.”

As a mother of children who are approaching their teenage years I am very familiar with ‘sorry’ said in a certain tone. It can be more about getting someone off their back than it about is putting right their wrong. As a parent I realise that for my children to be able to apologise genuinely, they need to see this modelled to them. When I make mistakes it is important for me to swallow my pride and model how to apologise and really mean it – to show that connection and relationship are more valuable than the need to be right.

For me, the need for this often occurs when the behaviour of one of my kids has been inappropriate, but in my anger or frustration I can handle it badly. I can feel justified because their behaviour was wrong, but no one else’s behaviour can ever justify or own. We always have a choice about how we respond and can be willing to put right our part even when we have been wronged. It is never easy in the emotion of the moment, but time and again when I have been willing to model this to my children, it has created the bridge of connection which enables them to also put right what they did wrong.

So today value the people around you more than your pride and build bridges of connection and relationship.


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